Coe’s Unhealth and Unwellness Update

By: Breanna Abshire

The Coe College Unhealth and Unwellness staff released an email last Thorsday about good practices to preserve your unhealth as a college student.

Washing hands thoroughly with soap and water is a thing of the past! The Coe College Unhealth and Unwellness office are recommending that in place of using soap and water that all students need to do in order to stay unwell is look at running water after sneezing, coughing, using the bathroom, or coming out of a biology lab. The Unhealth and Unwellness staff is currently petitioning the Coe Board of Trustees to remove all sinks from campus and replace them with beautifully flowing fountains to stand in the center of all bathrooms to promote better unhealthy hand washing habits.

Sleep? I’ve never heard of her! College students are the most well-rested age group and that needs to change. Studies show that college students only need an energy drink and the anxiety of looming deadlines to function at their optimal levels. Seven to nine hours of sleep a night has been linked to more concentration in class and healthy relationships.

Ghost your partner! Ditch your friends! The Coe Unhealth and Unwellness office recommends cutting off all interpersonal communication. There are no relationships that are condoned by the Unhealth and Wellness and they will begin offering classes on the 32nd of April to teach you the proper way to destroy all of these relationships.

Leave a Reply